Story originally printed in the Onalaska Life or online at www.onalaskalife.com
Published - Tuesday, April 29, 2008
GRAY MATTER: Are you a cheapskate?
Some of us are doing our best to pinch pennies with our household budgets these days. However, in recent months our generated incomes don’t seem to be keeping up with the demands of the bills that show up in our mailboxes.
With the price of gas and food steadily climbing, we, as consumers, are left with little choice but to put a name to every dollar we spend. Does that make us smart consumers, or downright cheapskates?
I believe there is a difference between a smart consumer and a cheapskate. While there may be a fine line between the two in some cases, other times the difference between a smart consumer and a cheapskate is glaringly obvious.
That’s why I thought it would be fun to put together a list of what an obdurate cheapskate might be.
You might be a cheapskate if...
... taking your family out to eat a seven-course meal involves eating at all the sample tables at Sam’s Club.
... in order to conserve water you have your dog lick the dishes clean after supper and put them away.
... take a shower with your clothes on in order to be energy efficient with the hot water heater. And you say to yourself, “Boy, I can wash myself and my clothes at the same time and I don’t have to pay for all that natural gas to work my hot water heater. Who needs a washing machine?”
... your version of a tip for the pizza delivery guy is to say, “The only tip I have for you is that scissors work well when trying to get a pizza sauce stain out of your shirt.”
... your fitness routine involves going from Wal-Mart to Target to ShopKo and lifting the dumbbells in the sporting goods aisle. When the clerk asks if you need assistance, you respond, “Nope, I’ve been able to curl 10 pounds for a while now. I might need a spotter when I get to 15 pounds.”
... you garnish half your 10 year old’s allowance to offset your gasoline consumption so he can go to Little League. To which you add, “Sorry, son; you’re not old enough to be like the big leaguers to get your full allowance back through salary arbitration.”
OK, so maybe that’s a little extreme. I’m all for cutting corners on the budget and not spend money like it’s going out of style. But you won’t catch me being a cheapskate ... at least the way I described.
Columnist Tim Gray, a West Salem resident, can be reached at tim.gray.matter@gmail.com.
All stories copyright 2006 Onalaska Life and other attributed sources.